This Side of Murder
Submitted by Sister Pearl

Crime forced its way into my life countless times before now. Feeling the pain, then some how getting up, catching breath and attempting to move forward, has always been the pattern toward recovery. However, more & more senseless criminal acts appeared against me, and my strength was spent in a battle that would have no winner.

Currently, human abduction, cruel and senseless torture, and murder by ligature of my only, very lovely and talented, 14 ½ year-old daughter are consuming my world.

Two years and several months have passed as I wait for trial of the alleged murderer caught 5 days after the crime.

• I have not worked so, I am deep in debt.
• I seldom eat.
• I rarely sleep.
• I have no desire, or means, to stay here on earth.
• I am unable to live.
• I am unhappy.
• And very afraid.

I have been denied the truth of the circumstances of my child's death. Her hand-written-in-pencil journals were taken from her girlfriend's house and have been held as 'evidence.'

On this side of murder, I am known as a "lucky" one. Why?

• The body of my child was recovered---whole.
• There is a suspect in custody.
• There is evidence.
• There is a process to address this atrocity.

Due to the fact that the criminal justice system has evolved, I have learned that, economically & for basic needs served, criminals are more highly valued in the process today. There is more support for wellness extended to the incarcerated than to the family members of the victim who are left unable to speak, or move or have their being (as they once did) since murder stole a loved one.

I have learned that our constitution has 4 amendments to protect criminal's rights. I have learned that the victim's rights amendment has not been passed! Not ONE amendment protects nationally those devastated by someone's criminal, senseless, and selfish acts. Actually, the system seems to promote the exposure of these atrocities for profit.

Meanwhile, lifetimes have expired in moments. The survivors never recovering. Merely existing. For decades. Death becomes familiar as an option to end the indescribably pain. Kevorkian clinics are, as yet, unavailable. Love of the stolen one encourages us to continue on. For what? We wonder.

Recycled Human Beings.

Recovery requires extensive love. This means we must be responsible to acts of love by doing them--- creating kindness by boldly & honestly loving.

Bring someone a casserole......sit & cry with them.

The identity of this author will not be revealed due to the trial still pending. Please contact Rochelle with any comments, notes or donations for her.