American Gypsy moves to Germany
by Rochelle Jourdan ©

I was quite shocked when Udo, (my boyfriend at the time) asked me to move to Germany with him. We had lived together for a few months after we had met on his business trip with IBM in Tucson, Arizona. My mother could not believe that I would even consider leaving my home country. The only German words that I spoke were, "nein" and "gesundheit," (which I learned later means "to your good health" instead of "God bless you"). I was in love with Udo, my life as a "Wild American Gypsy Woman" in America had been fulfilling at the time, after moving from coast to coast countless times. I was 27 and ready for a drastic change. I got that change upon my arrival to a very foreign land!

I arrived Frankfurt, Germany on December 5, 1991, (2 weeks before my 28th birthday). It was so cold that the trees and shrubs were covered in a white frost. I could not communicate with Udo's family except for his Dutch brother in law, who spoke English. This was probably a blessing at the time.

My first weekend in Germany, I managed to get into a tiff with a neo-nazi, at a local youth club, (bar). He was telling me that only Germans and Americans deserved to live. He was quite adamant about it, as was I, in defending the other nationalities. How was he to know that his blood was completely German? Americans are such mutts, I wondered why he gave us "permission" to live? Finally, out of disgust, I told him, "I hope you burn in hell!" Both, Udo and I were very thankful that he did not go get his buddies, (he was without other nazis this night) and nothing worse happened. Perhaps, I was not starting out on the right foot, or maybe I was?

I found many differences while living in Germany. The majority of the people were not like the nazi that I met on my first weekend. Rather, people would always say "good day/morning/evening" as they passed me on the street. They were so helpful when I confessed to being an American and not speaking much German, (as if I could pretend to speak fluent German). I did take an intense German course for foreigners, in Mainz, 5 days a week, 3 hours a day for 9 weeks, and eventually learned quite a bit but am far from fluent. Most, but not all the younger generations, (my age & younger) speak 4 languages, other than German. Thankfully, English was one of 3 of the "mandatory" languages. The students start taking "college styled" courses from the age of 8, so they are used to a diverse schedule. Schools are open year round, with a 2 week vacation in Winter, 6 weeks off in the Summer and a week here & there, so the students do not forget what they have learned.

The women ruled the home and many had short hair cuts, (warrior women). They wore no make up except on special occasions. The women on TV did wear makeup. They dressed very casually. Birkenstock's many styles of shoes and sandals were worn with socks by most people. The women rarely shaved their arm pits or legs. During the Summer, few did shave. I gladly threw my shavers away, rarely to do it again!

The Germans believe in letting people drink alcohol before they can get their driver's license. They can drink in bars at the age of 16, as long as they are with somebody older than 18, otherwise it's 18 to drink on ones own. They can not get a driver's license before paying the equivalent of $2,000 to a certified driving school and proving they are a capable driver. After all, the autobahn is a serious stretch of dangerous highway with no speed limits in most areas. I flipped off an old man in a Mercedes who was trying to hurry me up by flashing his left blinker at me, from only a few inches behind my car, while I passed another car, at over 100 miles per hour. I learned then, that the "bird" is universally understood. Going this fast is not very good for the pocket book because gasoline costs about $4.00 (US$) a gallon, or over a $1.00 Per liter. I learned how true speed played a factor in the amount of gas used but I did love to drive fast on the perfect condition of the autobahn, what a rush! Cars must pass rigorous road tests and tires replaced when they still have 2 millimeters of tread left. No used tires are allowed to be sold anywhere.

Cigarette smoking is legal at any age, though I never saw a child smoking. Cigarette machines are located within a block of each other, throughout the state of Germany. The cigarettes do not have the 599 chemicals added to them that America allows. I craved the chemicals, so I know it's not only nicotine that is addictive. Perhaps, we will find out what exactly is addicting in American cigarettes' one of these days. Cigarettes are very expensive in Germany, so I rolled my own with a handy cigarette machine, prepared filtered tube papers and Marlboro tobacco in a can. This saved me ½ the cost, if bought by the pack. There are no bargains for buying a carton, the price is the same for 10 packs as it is for a carton, hence why I rolled my own and got good at it.

While on the topic of chemical additives that American industry seems so happy to test on our unsuspecting guinea pigs, we call the public. The coffee is far superior in Germany because the state food controls are very strict and do not allow chemical processing. They do not have flavored coffees, which I must drink in the USA, to cover up the chemical after taste that I did not notice until I drank the real "untainted" stuff in Germany. Unfortunately, the cost of German coffee in California is nearly 3 times as                       expensive as American coffee, and only available (that I have found) at one German deli.

Shopping in Germany was quite a shocker. The big grocery stores were open from 8 AM to 6:30 PM, Monday through Friday. They were open from 8 AM until noon, on Saturday and closed all day on Sunday. Saturday was the worse day to shop and I was thankful to do it during the week. The local shops (smaller grocery stores) closed at noon until 2 PM for family lunch. Schools also let out at noon; the students compensate by going in at 7.

Here's what I found while shopping. First, a deposit of a one mark coin, (roughly 70 cents) into the gizmo that releases the cart from the rest of the carts, (the mark comes out upon return of the cart to appropriate place). I would take back the reusable soda and water bottles for a credit slip toward groceries. Milk is sold by liter cartons, eggs are sold in a carton of 10, both UN-refrigerated and UN-pasteurized. Beef is a luxury item. I never saw a T-bone steak while in Germany. I did get a beef round for stroganoff, once. Steaks to Germans mean pork chops to the USA. They eat raw ground beef, with no fear of worms, which is not as expensive as ungrounded. All meat in Germany is fairly expensive. The tubes of "wurst" or bologna, (is the closest comparison) is the best on the planet, (and loaded with fat). The canned wurst is also loaded with fat but that's what makes it taste so good. All bottled water is mineral water, (with bubbles) so burping is quite a normal affair. The chocolate is wonderful, my favorite is anything by Milka. The chocolate comes in a variety of flavors layered in, from strawberry yogurt, to mint, to hazelnuts, to alcohol filled, to eggs with toy prizes inside that an adult must put together for the kids. Finding Mexican food was rather difficult and I ended up making my salsa and tortillas, otherwise the cost was astronomical and disgusting at best. Vitamins are readily available in the grocery stores but if you need something for a cough or headache, you must go to the pharmacy. At the checkout counter, it is the patron's responsibility to put the groceries back into their cart. If they would like a plastic bag, each would cost about 20 cents. Our canvas bag collection grew in those days, which we would use at our car for groceries. Nobody bagged their groceries at the check out counter. If it had not been done before shopping, the recyclable cans and glass jars would be taken to the huge bins specifically marked for such. Recycling is the law, after all!

Since recycling is the law, each home is supplied with a black barrel for garbage, and a larger green barrel for all the biodegradable materials, for example, lawn clippings, newspapers, vegetable matter, coffee grounds. There is a minimal use of plastic used in Germany, so it goes to the garbage. Disposable diapers are collected separately in the state provided large blue bags and placed in the diaper pile of the local land fill. The sanitation laws are right on target, in my honest opinion. The home owners are responsible for sweeping the street and side walks in front of their homes. The woods are clean of all litter and to stroll or bicycle through was a delight.

My neighbors showed me that the majority of them would shake out & hang their bedding over their window sills to air out for most of the day. All the windows and some doors opened 2 ways; as a door, or for a little ventilation, cracked at the top. I never saw a window slide or crank open, they all had special hinges, which I would love to have in my dream home one day. For added security, there were pull chords to close the outside of all windows with metal slats that fit tightly to keep out intruders & the light.

We had 2 cats who were happy hunters of mice and an occasional catch from the fish pond in our backyard. Very few people had pets. I learned from Udo's Oma (grandmother) people were so poor after World War II, the only animals that were raised as live stock to keep the families fed.

Every neighborhood had a church nearby. I would tell the time by its bell's toll, every half hour. On Sunday and during special occasions, the bells would chime for nearly 30 minutes. The sound was one I enjoyed and added to the mystique of the land I truly loved.

People answer their phones, not with a "hello" but with their last name, so the caller knows whom they have reached. Telekomm is the monopoly who controls the telephone lines in Germany. They charge for every call made, even if it's to a neighbor. They must approve all telephones and answering machines that will be used. There was no Internet but AOL has recently signed up with Germany and made a deal with Telekomm, so I may see my extended family online soon, (October 99). When it's available there and from what I have read lately, it's not likely many private citizens will be able to afford it unless some major changes are made. Telekomm wants to charge per byte! Phone charges to the USA are astronomical, so I relearned the art of letter writing to avoid $700.00 per month phone bills.

The mail carriers only deliver mail. If there is a letter to go out, it must be dropped in a designated yellow mail box on the street or taken directly to the post office. There is a minimum of advertisements in the mail, (junk mail) unless specifically ordered. I always found ads a treat, now, (back in the states) they are a nuisance that ends up in the garbage before I look at them. I would frequent the Mainz library for a full selection of books and the Mainz train station for magazines and newspapers written in English.

There is a television tax in Germany that you must pay, (separate of purchase) if you own a TV. They will find those who break the law in their special truck wired to listen for TV frequencies. We were lucky to have one English television station, in which I could watch very dated talk or game shows from America, and an occasional soap opera from England. We also had European MTV, which played music from all the European countries. Only while visiting my in-laws, could I watch CNN, Sky1 or the cartoon network, (they had a satellite dish). There are always quite a few cultural shows, where the people dressed in traditional clothing and sang traditional songs. The TV shows were mostly not high violence and did not show the blood and gore that we are subjected to here in the states but high on sexual innuendo. The shows would really heat up with raw sex after 11 PM. I saw Sylvester Stallone in a sex movie, while in Germany. I don't think he was an "Italian Stallion." The commercials were lumped together between the shows and played at a lower volume. The shows were uninterrupted and people would have to pay closer attention, "if they chose." Unlike in the USA where the ads are forced upon people, (with raised volume) to make them grab the remote to turn the TV down, or go deaf. There were nude people, (from all backgrounds) taking showers or baths for bathing products. The normal magazines also showed nudes in ads. I often wonder why we Americans are so upset about the natural human body, as if we do not know what we look like underneath clothes. My suggestion to those who want to visit Europe, who are uptight about the human body in natural form, do not go to Germany!

The only radio station I would listen to was AFN (Armed Forces Network) they spoke English and I would hear the watered down version of some of the American news. I did have to listen to some music I would never listen to otherwise but they would play rock-and-roll at least 3 times an hour. I would be jealous of all the deals the armed forces would get after hearing all the ads on base. I lived life as a foreigner in Germany with no American perks, except my absentee ballot.

Udo sold the house that he built and we had to rent an apartment, (preparing for move/immigration back to the USA) in a neighborhood with much closer neighbors than previously. Apart from the enormous price, (roughly $1,200 per month) for a 2 bedroom, 1 bath on the 2nd floor with a balcony, the kitchen came unfurnished. Not unfurnished, as no table and  chairs. I mean unfurnished, no cabinets, no sink, no refrigerator. Kitchen facilities cost about $2,000, unassembled. Speaking of fridges, the one we bought was big, (standing 4 feet high) for German standards. They are usually a fraction larger than a hotel fridge, so there is not much chance of food going bad, since they do not hold more than 2 days worth.

In February, some people get dressed up in strange outfits, (similar to Mardi Gras) to ward off the Winter. This is called Fasching, where the streets of major cities are filled with people. It's advisable to take a bus on this day because parking is scarce due to many roads blocked. There are parades of floats, marching bands and entertainment passing through the crowds of people, throwing candy as they pass. Many kids bring umbrellas to turn upside down to catch the candy, which is far better than getting hit with it.

We took a spontaneous weekend trip to Berlin to celebrate the 3rd anniversary of the removal of the Wall. As we approached Berlin, the roads deteriorated away, forcing us to slow down for fear of damage to the car and the presence of exits was almost non-existent. Those exits that I did see, were sharp right turns instead of veering to the right. Fortunately, the roads were repaired the closer we got to Berlin. Once in Berlin, we hunted for a hotel. We passed the wealthy hotels in the shopping areas and headed straight into Nazi land, where the hotels were run down or boarded up & scary looking people littered that street at 6 AM. It was at that moment that Udo decided we deserved to stay in one of the nicer hotels. The hotel served a continental breakfast of eggs, meats, breads, juice, coffee on a rolled in table, to our room, what a treat! We kept crossing the border (that no longer existed) and later learned, through pictures shown to our friends, who had relocated from East Germany (the impoverished side) which side was which. There is so much history there, it was too short of a stay. Part of the Wall still stands, so people never forget how stupid we can be. The "Gedaechthiskirche," (an ancient church) riddled with mortar and decay stood tall, directly next to the brand new church. This site is also a reminder of War, one not to forget. Berlin had a great impact on my life. It is still a poor state with many people coming in from Russia and Poland but they have vowed to be up with the times by the year 2000. I would love to go back then, to see if they made it.

Another memorable trip was to Munich, a spontaneous one from our week in Mittenwald. It was memorable because we went on Sunday when nothing except the train station was open! It was raining and I bought an umbrella. We walked the streets and took pictures of interesting sights, then hopped on the train back to Mittenwald. Mittenwald is a quaint little town where they make violins and other awesome wood crafts. The mountain peaks retain the snow year round, which can be reached by gondola. It is there at the peak that we walked over (only put 2 feet) into the Austrian border. Mittenwald is definitely worth a visit. During the time I spent, I managed to grasp the German language and culture fairly well. So well, that the last time I had a tiff with a nazi, I managed to tell him to burn in hell, using German words! My mother in law calls every other Sunday, so that part of my brain automatically turns on, though sometimes it's convenient to pretend not to understand, if you know what I mean. This is definitely one of the perks to having foreign in laws.

This should wrap up my short essay of life in Germany. The rest of the story will come out in a book. What do you expect from a person who has moved 40 times to 10 states, (including Germany) from the age of 2 months until 31? I have much more living, vacationing and a couple of kids to raise first.

                         Written Thursday, September 18, 1997
                         © Copyright 1997 by Rochelle Jourdan

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