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Pat the Bunny for Grownups
By Anne Semans
Originally appeared in Hip Mama
When was the last time you gave yourself a hand? I'm speaking literally here--about masturbation (although you've earned a round of applause for all your wonderful qualities). Call it what you will--self-love,
patting the bunny, auto-erotic stimulation--masturbation deserves a place in your daily routine, right up there with your morning cup of coffee or your afternoon workout.
Studies have proven that regular sexual activity improves your health and lengthens your life span. But that doesn't mean singles will kick the bucket sooner than the partnered; masturbation is an equal
opportunity sexual practice, one you can enjoy at your discretion and convenience. Masturbation offers some very specific health benefits, which include relieving menstrual cramps, strengthening the pelvic muscles,
fighting yeast infections (by increasing blood flow to the pelvis), reducing the risk of prostate infections, and alleviating stress.
And if those aren't enough reasons to tiptoe through the tulips regularly, I heartily recommend it as mother's little helper.When the kids, the partner, the house or the job all seem like too much, try turning to
yourself for a little comfort and tension release. Tired out from a day of running after your kids? Sleep will come easily after a quick solo turn with your favorite vibrator (which are great if your hand tires
easily). Not in the mood for a full-on sexual encounter, but still want a little sexual intimacy?
You and your partner can masturbate together--that way you get just what you want, plus you get to experiment with a little exhibitionism and voyeurism.
What's more, masturbation provides an excellent opportunity to get to know yourself better sexually--by experimenting with different rhythms, toys or breathing exercises, you're able to get more in tune with your
sexual response. Once you discover what works for you, you can articulate or show your partner what turns you on and your confidence as a lover will increase. If you're one of the many moms or moms-to-be who seem to
have misplaced their sexual desire, masturbation provides an excellent, low key way to be sexual, with several side benefits. Very often, spending leisurely time loving yourself will get you in the mood for more
sexual adventure. At the very least it helps improve your sexual self-esteem.
If you already masturbate regularly, more power to you! You might want to try a new toy or a new fantasy to mix things up a bit. I'll talk more about vibrators in an upcoming column, since these provide a nice
alternative to easily-tired hands. If you don't currently masturbate much and would like to, you can learn more about it from some excellent books and videos:
*Sex For One* is the classic primer on masturbation, written by Betty Dodson, whose beautiful illustrations of women's genitals accompany her writing.
*Self Loving* is a video of Betty Dodson's infamous Bodysex workshops, where women gathered to learn how to be comfortable with their bodies and to improve their sexual response through masturbation.
*The Joy of Solo Sex* by Harold Litten is a manual for men who want to put a little adventure into their solo play.
*First Person Sexual* edited by Joani Blank, is an anthology of masturbation stories, both true and fictitious.
*The New Good Vibrations - Guide to Sex* (by me and Cathy Winks) also includes a helpful chapter on masturbation accompanied by tales of men and women recalling their earliest memories of masturbating!
* I Am My Lover* offers over 130 photos of twelve different women in the act of masturbating. The subjects also share their thoughts about technique, sexual response and orgasm in candid essays. Edited by Joani
Blank.
Send your suggestions, additions or feedback to: anne@well.com
copyright 1998 Anne Semans
Visit Good Vibrations
to purchase many of the books, toys, and videos
mentioned in this article.
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