Jerry Falwell Exhausted, Needs Tinky Winky Rest
by Kay Chirichigno

Jerry Falwell needs a rest after declaring Tinky Winky is gay. The evangelist turned triangular Teletubbies Tinky Winky gay basher has exhausted himself since an article appeared in Falwell's National Liberty Journal stating Tinky Winky "has become a favorite character among gay groups worldwide."

The four alien looking life-size creatures with televisions in their tummies eating Tubby Custard and Tubby Toast and speaking in tongues reminded me of cute little diaper-clad demons. They could be disciples of the Jewish Antichrist Falwell declares is alive today. Now that would be headlines.

The real question is not whether the male-voiced character of Tinky Winky is out or not, but rather whether Tinky Winky has a winky or no winky or rather...I meant...whether his tote is actually a purse or a magic bag. See I'm not exactly clear on whether Tinky Winky is male or female or that it really matters whether a male sounding character is carrying a magic bag or a purse. My magic bag carries all kinds of secrets I'm not sharing so I don't blame Tinky Winky for not giving us a peeky.

Rumor has it that Dave Thompson, the actor who wore Tinky Winky's purple suit, didn't have a problem with giving us more than we wanted to see on the set while he lounged out of that famous purple suit in the buff. It was just enough to get him fired. I thought that was what got the Pamela Lee Andersons of the world hired.

Having a nice purple bod is a no brainer. At least it's not pink. Look at Barney who reminds me that Falwell has a vast vivid imagination . That's okay. A far-reaching mental imagery can be a good thing. The only thing Falwell is missing is a triangular shaped antennae on top of his gone-around-the-bend head.

Falwell never ceases to amaze me with his publicity pounding profiles. Just when I think that he's exhausted himself of the ludicrous and the inane, he comes up with something borderline ingenious enough we actually pay attention with pursed lips.

It wouldn't surprise me if his next headline is, Jerry Falwell Charges Energizer Bunny with Battery.

Readers Opinions

"You are very funny American." - Philippe, Normandie France

"No one could be more right nor could any one have written it more humorously than you did." - Biene, Bochum, Deutschland

"Your comments on Jerry Falwell left me laughing and crying at the same time." - Terrance W., Ohio

"You could not have stated it more accurately. Jerry Falwell needs his head examined.  When will the religious idiots of this world learn, preaching hatred is wrong."  -- Patrick C., San Francisco, California

"I used to think our media had no intelligence, until now. It is astute commentaries like this one that make me wish I was back in the United States." -- David, Hong Kong

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©1999 Kay Chirichigno

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